This morning while I was changing Lizzie's diaper she looked up at the picture on the wall of John holding her. She said, "Dada hold me!" Then she became very pensive and said, "Dada gone. Night. Moon. Stars...He miss me. He love me. Dada gone. Night. We go find him." She repeated these phrases all morning long. I wanted to know more about what she meant, but I also didn't want to ask any leading questions. I guess that's the psychologist in me. The hundreds and hundreds of clinical interviews I did for my job in Provo trained me well on the dangers of asking kids leading questions. I didn't want her to say what I wished she would say. I wanted to know exactly what she meant.
I asked her to tell me more about Dada and if she remembered him. She said she does remember him and then kept repeating that he was gone but that he loves her.
I asked her where he went and she said, "Dada gone. Week. Watching me. See me."
I asked her what she meant by week and she just kept saying, "Dada gone. Week. Night. Love me. Me love Dada!"
I never figured out what she meant when she was talking about night and week. As for the rest, she might just be repeating back what I've told her so many times before...that Dada loves her and is watching out for her. But either way, she's right. I hope she never forgets.
8 comments:
I love you.
John does too.
Moments like this must mean the most to you, but also be the hardest. Here's a big squeeze from me. I love you.
I love it that you are blogging! It was so great to read about your day and what an amazing job you are doing as a mother. I know that John is right there with Lizzie and I'm sure she feels him all the time. You are doing a great job Emily. Love you.
What a sweet girl!
Can't stop crying. Love you, love both John's, love Lizzy. I wish we could know exactly what she was thinking and also, what she has experienced. I'm sure it is something more than we could ever imagine. She's so special.
why is it every time i am in need of a boost, i read your blog and it makes me cry...in a good way! what a sweet post....and makes me think of last halloween when u were sick being prego and john brought lizzie to the ward halloween party....sometimes i wish we could go back to our old days...and that week of our halloween party, pics of the kids, chatting, sunday dinners, and all of that...i miss you!
You don't know me and I know a lot of time has passed for you, I've just recently discovered your story and I can't get you all out of my head. Thoughts from the uk!
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